Posted by: Kaushik | September 16, 2008

some you lose, some you give away

I was listening to “Packt Like Sardines in a Crushed Tin Box’ by Radiohead and there is this lyric that goes, ‘After years of waiting, nothing came. You realise that you were looking in the wrong place.’ Funnily enough, that got me thinking about the both of them.

The first one. Let’s call her M. Obviously, that’s not her name and this is merely to protect myself against discovery if she chances on this blog. I met her over two years ago but funnily enough I only got to know her much later. In a sense, it was always too late. There was another katan in the picture. Despite all that, I fell hook, line and sinker. You always have preconceived notions about the person you’re going to like. But, I was completely taken in by the enthusiasm and verve of M. There’s a song which reminds me of her. A song which last year was constantly on repeat and it reminds me of her everytime I listen to it. It reminds me of how things were and how maybe things could have been. Don’t we all love wishful thinking? Times change and I don’t have a liking for M like I used to. I do think of her now and then and hope she’s happy.

I met Jane last year as well. Maybe it was something about the whole convent educated, well read, diary of Jane look (hence the name). Jane was rather different from most people I’d known or met before. We’d had these crazily fun conversations about books, movies and music. And somehow I’d convinced myself that yeah, that this was all I was looking for. But then I was convinced I was rather staid and her being the stereotypes of a metropolis girl, I felt that I just wasn’t in her league. We interact fairly often. But that moment passed just like that drunken night a few months ago did.

Why these two references, you’d ask? For the readers who read this blog and already know the deatails, you know. For those who don’t, it’s high time I stopped blowing chances and did something about it. At the end of the day, I don’t have too many regrets. About Jane, not that many. Knowing her like I did, there wasn’t any point really. Regarding M, a year ago this post would’ve looked a lot more different 🙂


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