The times they-are-a- changing

I was running out of things to blog about and then I asked
Krishna, what should I blog about. He suggested the Indian team's inability to maintain their 50% win-loss record in one-dayers. I remarked that it would be too depressing and he then said why don't you blog about the changes we go through and how we adapt to them. so gleefully I exclaimed that i shall and here i am.It was 2002 when I went to college for the first time, scared as hell and rather apprehensive. I came back after first year having made a truckload of friends and having been sufficiently enriched by the various interactions that I had with my various friends and enemies(even if you will)!!But I was struck by a lot of things. Lots of my female friends were talking about marrying the guys of their dreams and how many kids they would have, as a 18 year-old it mattered more to me then that what day would I be getting to go to Corner House or have a kulfi at Koshy's for that matter. It rather puzzled me that people had already decided their life plans et al while all I knew was that ok I’d be playing basketball on Sunday with the guys at Madhavan Park as usual.3 years in Xavier’s, of being spoilt by my female friends and sheltered by my hostel friends, I set out rather reluctantly into the workplace.  It was and still is an interesting enough experience. But I learnt a lot at work. There is no other faster tonic to growing up or becoming responsible. It is thrust on you and you usually have no option. I thought the transition from school to college was difficult in the beginning. I got to see a wide cross section of people and I could appreciate the differences in people better and understand them better unlike school where you’re only worried about how many game periods you get in a week or how well you do you boards and the like.

Work has been interesting for the only reason that you can win accolades but you can still get treated like a piece of shit. Nastiness and back stabbing are best buddies and useful tools utilized here at times.

Anyway, forward to 2006. The storylines haven’t changed. The girls are still talking about getting married and having babies after a few years of the corporate life. The boys are talking about new jobs, complaining about their bosses or wondering what car to buy or which pub to haunt to have one for old times sake. Everyone I talk to sounds grown up not that I sound any less grown up: D. They say to succeed change is the only permanent thing. A Lack of change makes one harden. It’s funny how grown –up we sound when we talk about the next car that we buy or the accomplishments we’ve made living alone. Makes one wonder, those days of foolishness and head rushes from doing stupid things were not too far away really. But yet, we’re moving on.

Anatole France said,

‘All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ‘

Here I have my own two-bit to add. I’ve been having constant chats with my friends about their futures and reassuring them of their abilities and have been constantly reassured as well. It’s the promise of things to come and the lack of knowledge about the future that makes us so insecure and hesitant at times. Inertia results not so much from complacency but happiness with the current equilibrium levels and a satisfaction in knowing really about what you’re going to do over the next few days. There is a certain security to thinking short term.

My peace of mind and happiness which results from living most of my happy memories in Xavier’s is my happy place I retreat to whenever I feel low. I look at photos of our times together placing events and beautiful and unforgettable memories and feel comforted.

But, I find logic in Chad Kroeger’s words, when he says

‘Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say it, time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it.’

Dubs, my brother offers extremely succinct and practical advice for a 18- year old. He says let it go, move on. Orkut scraps about absurdist theatre, post modern dal dishes, phone calls recollecting the Red wheel barrow’s thoughts on communism, exchanging of letters, posting of gifts and the customary pint at Mojos seem to be the quietly reassuring things in my life. In a sense, we’re all quietly confident and will back ourselves to take ourselves forward.

Krishna once told me when I was going through a hard time, ‘Life is like a television sitcom. You’re the main star. There are only guest stars. They may stay for a lot of episodes but ultimately it’s up to you.’

I’d give that advice to every one of you knowing fully well that you’ll handle the change and do all of yourselves and your well wishers proud as well.

Good night and good luck.